Dad’s always made it clear that we’re nothing more than caged rats caught inside a spinning wheel. He once clutched an empty bottle of scotch to his chest and said, “We all need a poison of choice to get us through how cruel life is.”
Not knowing what to do is only the beginning of everything I never say. I’m six weeks pregnant to my boyfriend who’s desperate for a family I can’t go through with having. It wouldn’t be right. To explain why would send Troy wild. Why makes me sick. So sick. If he knew he’d have to get rid of me.
This morning it’s taken more painkillers than usual to keep moving until I arrive at Chelsea beach. Until they fully kick in, it’s like I’m dragging the weight of a rhinoceros to the sea side of the train tracks. Drugs and the saltwater breathing in…
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